Savage Sociopolitics
I've plugged Dan Savage before. Time to riff on him though. I have no real point here; it's just interesting. Feel free to tell me off anyway.
(What I think about things like this has changed a lot in the last few years. But I still remember old arguments that left a bad taste. Maybe it's all too emotionally charged to discuss rationally?)
Savage writes:
There's an important distinction between homosexuality and incest, one that defensive incest fans can't seem to grasp. To wit: Homosexuals are people and incest is an act.
Isn't sodomy also an act? Well, bad example. Toe-sucking is an act too but the defining features of that act aren't analogous to the defining features of a gay (or incestuous) sex act. It's not what you're doing, but who you're doing it with.
I guess before the act comes the thought. Consider a man who has a crush on another man. Or a brother who has a crush on his sister. Or any adult who has a crush on a child. Since desires come to us seemingly beyond our control, I'll say any of these is blameless/harmless. (Your mileage may vary?)
It's possible to have any of those thoughts but still refrain from the act. In at least two of those cases (probably exactly two), refraining from the act seems intuitively right. But to distinguish the first act from the other two, Savage needs something more than just distinguishing actions from people.
Fortunately he also writes (in response to a different letter):
All families, even the healthiest families, are swept by swirling currents of obligation, guilt, mind games, and emotional blackmail. How can children, even adult children, freely consent to sex with their parents? Likewise, older or more domineering siblings can hold enormous power over their brothers and sisters. How does one divine consent when one sibling is having sex with another, or a son is having sex with his mother, or a father is having sex with his daughter? In those situations, it's impossible to define where "family life" ends and "consent" begins.
The consent issue is also a problem for adult-child sex, but not a problem for gay adults.
(Somewhere here I should mention falling in love but it's unclear what to say about that. I've known gay couples who seemed to be in love. As it happens, I've never known an adult-child or same-family couple who felt that kind of love, at least not that I know of. Is it theoretically possible? *shrug*)
Okay, what do you do if you
are in love with a family member, or with a child? Move on, I suppose, painful though it may be, and find love elsewhere if you can. And here Savage might say something about how a true homosexual
can't fall in love with someone of the opposite sex. (Do there exist people who feel incapable of attraction to adults and/or non-family members? Not that I know of.)
IF (big if, since it's almost certainly false) there were a compelling reason for members of some society to avoid gay liaisons, analogous to the consent issue with incest/child sex, would it follow that the society should admit that it's asking gay people to make a really big sacrifice but nonetheless ask them to make it? The relevance here would be if someone belonged to a religious faith with a strong homosexuality taboo. As far as I can tell I'm not part of such a faith. We're
Reconciled in Christ, and I'm content -- actually pretty happy -- with that.